Excuses and Fantasy Worlds

It's amazing how easily we can convince ourselves to do or not do something based on excuses. Not having "enough time" has long been one of my biggest excuses for not exercising and eating healthy. Only recently have I realized how ridiculous this reasoning is.

For three years, I've given up countless evenings, weekends and lunches for the sake of my job. I would eat out just to evacuate my closet of an office. I watched my once svelte waistline soar into double digits as I gobbled down fast food and drowned my sorrows with a cold one at night. Worst of all, I built one wicked dependency on Pepsi and sweets.

"If only I had more time," I fantasized. To me, the only seemingly feasible solution was to work from home. Then I'd have more time to exercise. Then I'd go for walks at lunch. Then I'd eat healthier because I'd have a kitchen full of nutritious options and couldn't justify a drive to grab a burger.

Enter fate. Exit fantasy world. At the end of June, my job was eliminated due to budget. Finally, I thought, I can get healthy. It seemed like a blinding bright side to what otherwise felt like the biggest disappointment of my life.

Two months later I'm still hunting for a suitable job and that elusive healthy life I thought would be so easy to acquire. All that fantasizing about how I'd work out when I finally had "more time" was exactly that -- a fantasy. I've learned it's not a matter of having the time. It's making the time. Last night, as the last traces of sunlight slipped under the horizon, I tried to make excuses. We had just arrived home from the grocery store and hadn't eaten supper yet. It was nearly dark. The dogs really need out. But my former cross country runner husband helped me make time, and I went out for a 25-minutes of walking and running intervals.

Surprisingly enough, I didn't collapse in a heap on the side of the road. And for once, I didn't feel that telltale agony pulsing through my veins. It actually felt, dare I say, good.

One thing's for sure, the layoff has done wonders for my emotional health. I mean, how could you believe otherwise? I actually thought it felt good to run last night. Crazy, I know. Sure, there are still lows, but they're far easier to combat in my new environment. The best part: I don't go grab a Pepsi anymore when I'm feeling down. Maybe I'll learn to go for a run instead.