One idea that's really struck me is hedonic adaption, which is basically a fancy way to say that we're greedy and we aren't very good at counting our blessings. Positive experiences happen in our lives, and they give us a temporary boost in happiness, but over time, that boost wears off. In other words, happiness is like a drug, and we're always looking for that next hit after we come down from our high.
We know firsthand that God blesses us tremendously. But instead of giving thanks and appreciating what we have, we just expect more when the new wears off, much like a child grows tired of a new toy and begs for a new one despite an overflowing toy box at home. Suddenly, we think that we are very unhappy if we aren't getting more. We compare our house, car, clothes, looks, jobs, etc. to those of our neighbors, friends and family, and try to measure up.
How interesting (and completely wrong) that we assume we will be happier by changing our circumstances -- whether our job, looks, home, income or posessions. Lyubomirsky points out numerous studies that show that such changes do little to provide lasting joy.
This year, Cody and I did some work to undo the aforementioned "changes in circumstances" that we'd made in the past several years, during which we bought whatever we wanted, as if the new would never wear off. We just figured that we both made good money, so we could afford it. And on paper, we could. But like most Americans, we were up to our ears in payments. Trust me, the glitter of a new Jeep wears off two years later. We stopped and realized that if we continued this pattern, we'd forever be making payments on things that really didn't make us any happier than before.
This year, we began to work on changing our thinking. Call it the economy, call it downsizing, whatever. I think of it as reprioritizing, thanks to a little help from Dave Ramsey and our new paradigm. We watch our budget now, knowing that spending doesn't bring happiness. In fact, we began to realize that the material things in our lives were doing just the opposite -- making us miserable!
The biggest change we've made was selling both of our brand new cars. It was tough explaining our new reasoning to friends, family and especially my co-workers at the dealership. However, the rewards have been tenfold. We are now down to one car payment and have only six more months before we have both -- yes BOTH -- vehicles paid off. Hallelujah!
The other big change was downgrading cell phones, which was considered another drastic measure, perhaps at times bordering on cruelty. Cody still complains that he can't watch videos from his friends (the content of which I still contend isn't worth watching anyhow), and I gripe when I can't use Google maps or Facebook like I once did on my Blackberry. But again, the rewards have been worth it. I've also found that I spend less time with the blasted contraption glued to my hand, waiting for that next email, text, call or instant update from various social media. It's quite refreshing. Sometimes, I even leave my phone in another room. Now there's a change.
In the end, we're thrilled with the changes we've made. Do we miss anything about the stuff of our old lives? Sure. But we know the change is worth it. In the words of Dave Ramsey, "Don't even think of keeping up with the Joneses. They're broke!" Most importantly, we've learned to count our blessings.
P.S. Thanks to Tom and Morgan Roesler for helping encourage us to jumpstart our road to Financial Peace.
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